RWBlog

This is a followup post to General advice and comments about marriage agencies

First consideration: Do you speak, read and write in Russian and/or Ukrainian?

If you do, it will be easier to communicate without translations. Then you
can use the open contact sites wherein most of the ladies either do not speak English or not sufficiently (including some who think they do) and some who actually do. But, unless you are somewhat proficient, you may not achieve clear and accurate communication. Being able to use a translation
program is not equivalent, and the inherent errors can be damning.

If you do not, then translations on one or both sides may be necessary, unless you are limiting your scope to only those ladies who are already proficient in English. Even then, you may find the need for accurate translations - especially in documentation. And there are no truly “free” translations - if you do not pay, then she does.

As regards the avoidance of agencies: if you can navigate through your process in Russian and/or Ukrainian, then you can probably get by without an agency. But even then, a good agency can be rather helpful and convenient. I have had both good and bad experiences with agencies, and I will say that bad agencies are best avoided, but it can be difficult to determine how good or bad an agency is without a recommendation (or warning).

Scam warning websites and black lists can be useful, but they are also fallible. Just because someone was unhappy with the result of their impossible requests, an otherwise good agency may be reported while a horrendous agency may never be reported, or they may keep changing their
name to stay ahead of the reports. The name of the agency owner may be a better clue.

The free websites, as well as the low monthly fee sites are also better for the scammers and game players, since there will be no background check and very little monitoring. If nothing else, they may be a waste of time. Or, they can be good for gaining a bit of experience in learning to sort out who
is real from who is not.

Basic match engines are also fallible. Some sort by sex, age range, country
of residence, and little else. They are only as good as the data provided to
them. Some have multiple choice questionnaires which can be rather helpful,
or misleading. Some answer honestly, some sarcastically, some lie. Smoking
is so common amongst RW/UW that I always ask how many cigarettes a day they
smoke, whether they answered “nonsmoker” or not. Many answer as they think
we wish to see.

Detailed match engines are usually not on free sites. Those allow you to define desired characteristics - height, weight, build, race, religion, a
ge range they desire, and so on. In my experience, those who focus too closely
on specifics often exclude their better matches superficially. To each their
own. And again, the data is only as good as provided.

Good agencies also provide matching, and because the actually interview the
ladies personally, the details are more accurate. Those who do background
checks prevent most scams, but unless the lady is honest with them about who
they seek, there may still be mismatches. (Assuming you are honest with yourself and them about who you seek, and assuming you actually know.
Sometimes what we think we want is not truly satisfactory.)

Good agencies use good translators, but there will always be a chance of
misinterpretation of intent, because even the best translators cannot read
minds. So if you, or the lady, choose the wrong words, you may get inaccurate communication even if the translation itself is perfect. Many
still blame the translator for this, inappropriately.

But, agencies may also filter communications, or reinterpret letters, even
with the best of intentions, to facilitate matchmaking. Sometimes it works,
more often it fails. Another type of filtering occurs if an agency gets the
impression that a man may be bad for their client, even if you passed a background check, or they may determine their client is bad for the man.
Better to keep the agency reputation in good standing.

Of course there are indeed bad agencies - those whose short term profit
motive is their only concern. In which case both the man and the ladies
waste their time and resources. It may be difficult to ascertain when and if
you are involved with them before going abroad. This is where recommendations and warnings come in. But be wary of the contents of those
recommendations and warnings. Better to decide based upon several than just one.

I have had good success in simply meeting women face to face while abroad, or making contact shortly before a planned foray or while abroad. Their
photos and profiles are just a starting point, and I quickly determine whether or not to spend time corresponding, within a few letters. And soon
after making that decision, I get a telephone number and make a call. (I do speak Russian.)

Many ladies are accustomed to men who make contact, write letters, seem serious, and never show up. Or if they do show up, they are like a different person (this goes both ways). For that reason, I find it better to make contact when I already know I will be going, make a firm appointment, and
show up. Since I am as honest as I can be, even a bit blunt, they are not
surprised at the initial meeting, but they may imagine me differently inspite of my efforts. So, I always have a contingency plan. If the meeting
is unsuccessful, I still enjoy my time in country.

Good luck to all on this quest. What works for me may not work for you.
There is more than one route to success. Agencies can help or hinder, but most of it is on you. Research everything before committing to anything.
Seek good advice, and listen to your instincts.

Source: RWBlog

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